Pinterest Gone Mad!

Pinterest Gone Mad!

Now that I’m a stay at home mom (SAHM) I have more time to let my creative juices flow. I have dipped into all of those “pins” and pulled some of them out that I want to get done! My … Continue reading

A Bootie Distraction… The “Jessica’s”

I think I mentioned this in a previous post you can read here but crafting and especially crocheting calms my nerves and allows me to think. This past week has been quite the adventure. A dear friend of mine was diagnosed with brain cancer and I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant with a baby girl who is growing and working full time with a husband who is back in school which means I’m extremely limited in the amount of time I can actually give her. Last night as she returned home from her first bout of radiation I wanted to go to her and hug her and love on her…. BUT the logical part of my brain knew that she was sleeping/resting and that’s exactly where she needed to be and not have a crazy hormonal red head asking her how she feels every 5 seconds. Pregnancy has made me crazy-the end. I miss my logical brain but sometimes it still seeps through. So as my husband told me to go upstairs and get some rest I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I NEEDED to “DO” something… anything for her. But I knew there was nothing I could do but pray for her and maybe make her smile. I knew she was not alone as there were many from our church that were going to be with her. I searched YouTube and found this awesome pattern that matches a pair of shoes that I know she loves. What better way to spend my evening of anxiety and a mountain of laundry than making my little girl some baby booties as she kicks away in my belly that match my dear friends favorite shoes ?

Photo: New shoes for the little kicker... If I can't sleep, might as well be productive!

Princess K’s “Jessica’s” as I will call them from now on…

I will say, after I finished these I did sleep better last night and for whatever reason, I felt more at peace with my situation. God will take care of all of us and I don’t have to “do” anything because I know He will do a better job than I could ever manage on my own. I know I have limits but that doesn’t mean I’m always happy about it.

A Blanket Distraction…Confronted

I made this blanket in 10 days. That’s pretty significant. If you’re a crafter and you know how long it can potentially take. I made this blanket in 10 days which means every moment of free time I had was spent on this blanket. My Christmas gifts were complete and so I decided to make something for myself. Unfortunately, this was also my way of ignoring God’s prompting to stop and talk to him. I was mad at Him, and when I’m mad I will ignore you. True, crafting can be very therapeutic but usually I sit and zone out on the TV while my hands anxiously move reflecting my true state of mind: anxious, angry, envious, and jealous.

20130123-220348.jpg

I was confronted. He wasn’t going to let me ignore Him anymore. As my husband and I were serving as overnight hosts at the severe weather shelter in the basement of our church, God found me. I never sleep well at the severe weather shelter because there are always people walking around as lay on a mat on the cement floor. But that is where He found me: half asleep, restless, and trying to find peace within myself.

I lay down on my mat around 9:30 pm. People were still up talking and making noise around me. I put my headphones on and my favorite worship songs were playing on repeat, and then my brain went to a glorious place. I was sitting alone in an all white room, still feeling angry and bitter towards God. We haven’t been on speaking terms for about a week now. I hadn’t wanted to talk to Him, but that doesn’t mean that He didn’t hear my heart’s cry: I long to feel peace and hope again. Then He was there, sitting next to me.

Looking straight ahead, I felt His shoulder touch mine. “I’m mad at you.” I told Him. “I know,” He replied. “And I don’t want to talk to you or be around you.” “That’s ok.” He gently stated back. “I just want my pain to go away but I’m too angry. I want to find hope and peace.” Without a word He pulled me onto His lap and just held me there and let me bury my face in His chest. I could faintly hear Jesus Culture worship music coming through my ear buds,

“You won’t relent until you… have it all… my heart is yours.”

God then stood up and walked out the door in the far side of the room. A few seconds later He returned with a 10 month old little boy in His arms. And I knew who the little boy was… I miscarried at 9 weeks so there was no way to know the gender of the child, but something inside of me has always thought he was a boy. As God handed him to me I could see he had his daddy’s blue eyes and bright smile. When my husband smiles his whole face lights up, every time my heart melts away, and my heart melted at the sight of the child’s smile. Just then the child threw his whole little body into me and hugged me like he’s always known me as his momma. Then God sat down and put His arms around us both, and Heather Williams’ voice came…

“…But don’t give up on me now I’m so close to you now, I’m in need of your strength today. Wipe the dirt off my face; hold me in your embrace, your love always saves the day… HALLELUJAH!”

And then I felt someone step near my mat and I opened my eyes. I could feel peace again. (And a little anger towards the person that woke me up) I had hope and knew that I could trust God with my future. He knows best. I needed reassurance that it’s all going to be okay. The kind of reassurance only God can give. I needed my Heavenly Father to bring me hope. I had lost sight of the fact that ‘He’s got this…’ I can say all the right things to those around me, I can act like I’m fine but that won’t make the pain go away. It’s only when I submit to Him and open the door to my heart that He comes in and repairs the shattered pieces.

 

Yarn-a-thon 2012

I love to crochet. So this past weekend when my “yarn soul mate” made her way down to visit and it rained the whole weekend we never feared of boredom. I was slightly disappointed that the weather didn’t cooperate for us to make our way to the pumpkin patch and corn maze but then I remembered something her and I have talked about for years: we needed to have a weekend together without husbands to sit and play with yarn.

Thankfully, her 4 month old twin boys didn’t mind playing on the floor as we ventured down memory lane of awesome college years. Oh how things change and life goes on. It’s been a long time since those nights when we would sit in the common areas of Anderson Hall or backstage during intermissions and played with yarn. Who knew this would be a lifetime bonding activity that I have used many times to bond with other females and creative types. I could only find two pictures of us playing with yarn which is shocking considering we did it all the time.  Oh how things have changed since those good old days of yarn, late nights, and giggles over our favorite topic: college boys.

This past weekend was awesome… Old friend, twin baby boys, good conversation, and yarn. I am truly blessed. 😉

Now, who wants to have another yarn-a-thon with me????

Backstage during the play “Harvey!” Yes, it was about the big imaginary rabbit.

I made such a cute maid. 😉