“Did you get my text?”

The other day, I got an email from my best friend asking “Did you get my text?” I’ve been getting this question a lot lately from my friends. In the midst of my frantic evening I forgot to send her a reply and I told her what was really happening as I read her text. She gave me a great word of encouragement and a gentle reminder, “Lol, are you writing these things down?” At the time I didn’t think it was so funny but her reaction reminded me that sometimes toddlers are funny. 

So, if I ever don’t return a message right away it’s quite possible I’m dealing with a situation similar to the one below:

Yes I got your text. Sorry I was trying to get ready to leave the house. Moriah was melting down because she threw her play hot dog in the toilet and I wouldn’t let her dig it back out. After that I locked her out of the bathroom and played kitchen until her Dad got home. I don’t dig in the toilet. Lynn came home and swooped like my knight in shining armour. He handled the hot dog situation with lots of giggles. Then I finally left the house for a Mommy break. 

(Sigh) Mommy drama. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world!

  

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Recharged

These are my favorite things from this season of life as a SAHM to a 1 year old. I find it important to write these down so I never forget how fortunate I truly am. Especially on those days that are less than perfect. I believe God finds little ways to encourage me even when those words of affirmation can’t be spoken.

  1. The endless baby chatter. It’s as if she really has a message to spread to the world but the words aren’t forming yet. Whatever it is, it’s very important.
  2. The extreme excitement when she see’s myself or her dad for the first time after a few hours of being separated. The kicks, wiggles, and giggles are what my soul desires.
  3. The random toys I find stashed in different places. The chew toys that were strategically placed in the laundry basket full of clothes. The Chapstick that magically found it’s way from my nightstand into the empty washing machine. The alphabet magnets that were found in the other side of the cat door in the garage. All of it wrapped up in a tiny gift of sticky fingers and poopy diapers makes my heart smile.
  4. Her extreme love for her blankie. She can’t resist laying her head down when blankie is under it. This makes for amazing snuggles when it’s time for sleep. I enjoy nothing more than singing my daughter to sleep while we cuddle.
  5. The discovery of new things. This will never get old. She found her tongue (and mine) the other day. That was truly the best part of that day.
  6. Games! Namely “I’m going to get you” and Peek-a-boo. I love the squeals and laughter that follow the wiggles and giggles.
  7. But I think my favorite is during our daily routine. She’ll be playing and I’ll be trying to get something done or my focus is split between her and a project, when all of the sudden I notice the silence. This means one of two things; she is either doing something she shouldn’t be doing or she has stopped mid play to watch me and smile her biggest smile. It’s amazing to stop the busy of my life, completely expecting the worst and finding my child smiling from ear to ear as if to say “I love you, mommy” or maybe she’s thinking “my mom is really funny looking”? No, it’s definitely the first one. I love my sweet princess.

It’s important for me to remember these moments because there are also those moments when I’m exhausted and in need of a break. Living away from grandparents and family means breaks are harder to come by. I thank God for these precious moments I do get with her. They are gifts from God to recharge my sleepy soul. No, I wouldn’t change my occupation right now for anything. I am right where God needs me to be, I have every confidence in that fact.

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Pinterest Gone Mad!

Pinterest Gone Mad!

Now that I’m a stay at home mom (SAHM) I have more time to let my creative juices flow. I have dipped into all of those “pins” and pulled some of them out that I want to get done! My … Continue reading

A Baby’s First Lesson in Sharing

 

After I heard the doctor say Cesarean Section my first question was “Can I still breastfeed?” I had told myself over and over during the pregnancy that I wasn’t going to have a C-section so I never researched what happens or how that procedure would affect my ability to make milk for my daughter.

The advice for first time mothers that I give is “decide which things are the most important to you and focus on those”. There is a lot of information out there about child birth and raising kids so I find this to be helpful advice. It is easy to get overwhelmed, if you decide what is important to you then focus on those items. For me, it was breastfeeding. I was going to breast feed my daughter if it killed me. I was determined and hearing that I was going to have a c-section freaked me out! It turns out that having a C-section in no way inhibited me from breastfeeding my daughter. I had other challenges, but I was determined.

After several meetings with lactation consultants, a chiropractor (for the baby), and constant support and encouragement from my family, I am now able to breastfeed my daughter, which brings me to the reason I’m writing today.

After my final lactation appointment the nurse suggested I look into milk donation. I started researching and the stories tugged at my heart. I couldn’t even imagine how helpless I would feel if I was (for whatever reason) not able to produce milk for my baby. I want to give her the best and knowing I couldn’t would make motherhood that much more challenging.

So today, the little miss and I head out to make a donation. I’m so thankful I have the ability to ease another mother’s worry by providing her baby with my milk.

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All in all, Mo and I donated a little over 5 gallons of milk that will go to babies who need it. I’m so thankful that I was able to donate.

The Due Date- Round 3

Since there is so much construction going on in our house right now Moriah and I decided to take a little vacation. I am tired of living in a hotel or in a construction zone. We booked a flight and spent 8 glorious days with family in Minnesota. While we were there my sister gave birth to her third child. My parents were on duty to take care of her two older boys and Moriah and I were excited to have a sleepover with cousins at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. Since I live far away from my family these occurrences are few and far between for me. I will cherish those special moments I got to spend with my nephews for years to come. As I was going through my pictures and telling my husband all about our trip the past came back up from the depths of my soul. Like a hammer hitting me straight in the face. I don’t always remember or think about it but sometimes my heart stops and I remember the child that was lost.

One of my nephews is one month older than my child that was lost of miscarriage and my niece is one month younger. Of course I don’t know for sure as I was only 9 weeks pregnant at the time but in my heart I feel that child was a boy. As I was looking through my pictures and the memories of our mornings together my sweet nephews blue eyes struck me: he (my child) would be the same age.

Every morning Moriah would wake up in her crib and I could hear her sweet cooing before I was fully awake. And every morning when the boys were there someone else would greet her. My bedroom door would slowly open and I could hear quiet footsteps as the morning sun poured into my room. I would open my eye just a sliver to see that my nephew had heard my daughter in her crib and he would sneak in to gently touch her. One morning he was petting her head the next holding her hand. The picture I was looking at was one morning she was up early and woke up wanting some breakfast so she was in bed with me when he came in to check on her. He decided to climb over the footboard and into bed with us for his morning greeting.

At the time I thought it was adorable that my nephew was so gentle with her. Excellent practice for when he went home to his newborn sister, and that’s where my thought process stopped. But the other day, while looking at this picture I was reminded of my son, who I can only imagine was blonde and blue eyed; and my heart broke. I truly can’t wrap my mind around having a 2 year old along with my 4 month old daughter. That would be a handful. So today, I let the pain of loss wash over me again and I think about what would have been? Would he reach into her crib and hold her hand? Would he sneak into my bedroom and pet her head as she jabbers away? Would he reach out his arms with longing in his beautiful eyes as he asks to hold her one more time before bed? Would we be counting his animals and mimic the sound each one makes? Or would we be in a potty training battle full of 2 year old tantrums and “no,no,no’s”?

Probably.

Sometimes I let the grief and heartache bubble up to the surface because it’s in these moments that I am reminded of how grateful I am to have known this kind of loss. It’s in these moments where I’m reminded of Christ’s blessings. I did not lose a child in vain. God had and has a plan. And for that I’m eternally grateful.

The Little Blue Dress

Sometimes I need a reality check. I posted before about a pipe break in our main living area. I’ve been walking on concrete floors for a little over a 2 months now. I realize it takes time to coordinate repairs but walking out to see my main living space in such madness has been wearing my nerves thin.

Last night my sweet baby woke up at least 5 times wanting to eat. I walked downstairs in a dreary fog at 7 am greeted by my musty smelling floors I was going to wake up. I proceeded to finish the feeding ritual and watch the morning news while I tried to find some ounce of strength to start packing boxes so the new floors could one day be put in. Then my husband calls to tell me that the production schedule will be pushed back into February and I feel my nerves are about to burst! Out loud I prayed “my baby isn’t sleeping well, my house is a mess, and my milk supply is dwindling. How am I supposed to feed this baby in all this madness?! Help me Lord!” Anxiety took over and what I thought was starting my day turned into me pacing a cross the cement floor. I found myself staring out the window blankly. The baby was sound asleep and my home was quiet. “I need fresh air,” I thought.

I grabbed my keys and walked to the mailbox to find a package from Target. “What did I buy?” I walked back to my house and opened the package to find a little blue dress, I didn’t buy anything, someone else bought my daughter a special dress.

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Me sometime around 1984

The tears started to flow. It was definitely a special “mommy moment” for me. When I was little I had a very special little blue dress. It was made by a neighbor and given to my parents when I was little. It was MY dress and when you have a younger sister there are very few times in life when something is yours and doesn’t have to be shared.

Our family dedication was in January. My mom asked if she could get my daughter something special to wear. I told her to go ahead and pick out something special for my daughter to wear. I trust her judgment. The package came and it was a little blue dress. I’ve been trying to plan a special party for our family to commemorate this wonderful occasion but all of my plans kept falling through. Nothing was working out the way I wanted it too and on top of that my house was in such disarray that I could barely think straight.

Now I sit, in a fit of tears realizing that I don’t’ need a party. I’ve been extra hard on myself since the pipe broke. I want to be a great stay at home mom. I want to clean my house and make everything look perfect. I want to have everything in order when my husband gets home so that he can just focus on our daughter. But so far, that hasn’t happened. This little blue dress has helped me see the important things in life. I have a wonderfully supportive extended family, amazing friends, a new baby girl and a husband who showers our home with love every day. And now, a little blue dress. God is good.

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She may be laying on our new floor. 🙂

 

Starting a New Chapter

I know, I know it has been a while since I have posted. Its amazing how one little miracle can change everything about your life. I have been writing but not posting, it is not easy to edit while a baby is demanding your attention, however, I am committed to writing and finding my voice as a new mommy. To catch you up in one speedy post I have compiled a list of 3 events that have happened since my last post.

  1. First and foremost, I had a baby! She is beautiful, perfect, and the blessing her dad and I have been praying for!20140207-123442.jpg
  2. I made the change from working full time in an office to being a full time stay at home Mom. I love my new job! It has allowed me some free time to finish some Pinterest projects, start some crochet masterpieces, and also the ability to stay home with my beautiful daughter. I have the best job in the world!20140207-123724.jpg
  3. Right before Christmas a pipe broke in our house and flooded our downstairs. It has been an adventure and definitely a lesson in patience. Having a newborn and having a house that has been under construction for 3 months has been interesting to say the least.20140207-123610.jpg

This is mainly what has been happening in the King-dom since the last time I posted. Now to start writing about a new year and many life changes, let the fun begin!